Hi. This is Nan's brother in law, writing on behalf of her sister. We regret to inform you that Nan died in her sleep this morning.  As you can imagine, we are all devastated.

We do not know any of the arrangements at this time.

I am sorrry that some of you will hear the news this way. We have all appreciated the support that you have shown.

This blog meant a lot to Nan and she really appreciated you reading it.

Thank you.

Posted by nansarb at 3:03 AM

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Mood:  blue

Mood:  sad

Hello,

After flying home this week (to recuperate from pneumonia and to take care of some things at home) I (and my parents) are flying right back out, as Nan has taken a turn for the worse. We hope to make it out in time.

We were told today that Nan is much worse...she can't talk, eat, drink sit up or move. Nan is totally bedridden. She is being given meds to make her comfortable. She is not in a 'full' coma as of yet, as she still responds to your talking by facial expressions and slight nods of her head (as relayed to my by Jim when I called and had him hold the phone up to her ear for me).

To those of you that have emailed me directly, I apologize for not getting back to you individually and personally. I have not been on the email too much and have been totally mentally and physically exhausted, with all that is happening. I will get to each of you, when I can.

Thanks to everyone who has sent their well wishes and prayers...we all appreciate it immensly and Nan had relayed that to me, also.

More when I can.....

Posted by nansarb at 3:05 PM

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Mood:  sad

Hello,

After flying home this week (to recuperate from pneumonia and to take care of some things at home) I (and my parents) are flying right back out, as Nan has taken a turn for the worse. We hope to make it out in time.

We were told today that Nan is much worse...she can't talk, eat, drink sit up or move. Nan is totally bedridden. She is being given meds to make her comfortable. She is not in a 'full' coma as of yet, as she still responds to your talking by facial expressions and slight nods of her head (as relayed to my by Jim when I called and had him hold the phone up to her ear for me).

To those of you that have emailed me directly, I apologize for not getting back to you individually and personally. I have not been on the email too much and have been totally mentally and physically exhausted, with all that is happening. I will get to each of you, when I can.

Thanks to everyone who has sent their well wishes and prayers...we all appreciate it immensly and Nan had relayed that to me, also.

More when I can.....

Posted by nansarb at 3:00 PM

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Mood:  sad

Hello,

I didn't want anyone to worry...there isn't much to update. Nan sleeps a lot, due to her medication and, does have lucid moments in between some confusing times.
The main thing that worries us right now is that Nan is barely eating anything and doesn't drink anything except for a rare sip here and there.
She is comfortable, as her meds seem to be helping her and are being adjusted accordingly.
Thanks for all of your concern and care...just please remember, she gets very overwhelmed by a lot of people in her room at once and very confused and frustrated when there are multiple voices talking at once. Too much tires her out pretty quickly.
Please also remember to not visit yourself if you are feeling bad, sick, think you may be sick, coughing, or whatever...and NO KIDS (unless they are Nan's kids and not sick)....
Thank you....

Posted by nansarb at 6:18 AM

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Mood:  blue

Hi All,

This isn't the message that I wanted to write, but, this blog is important to Nan, so, I will do it for her.

There was a meeting yesterday and it was decided to stop Nan's treatment (chemo).  The only thing that will be done is for her to continue on pain meds to keep her pain free and comfortable.  Her doctor feels that it will only be a matter of a few weeks or so. Nan continues to be strong and is at peace with this decision and the ultimate outcome.  She is amazing, even to the end and I am proud that she is my sister.

Please, if you are planning to stop by and see Nan, please remember that her resistance is so low that she can catch something quickly. So, if you are sick, think you are sick, coughing, think you only have allergies, are around others who are sick, please, please do NOT go and see her.  Also, please do not take any kids to see her, either.  Kids can carry a multitude of things, and we don't want Nan to catch anything that will speed up the inevitable or that will put her back into the hospital and make her sicker than she already is.  Nan might say to bring kids, but, she isn't always aware (while on her medicine) of what the reality of that is. You may think that this would be common sense to visitors, but, unfortunately, even with a sign posted on her door, it is not.

We would really appreciate if you can respect those wishes. To those of you who don't, shame on you.

Thank you.

Posted by nansarb at 9:44 AM

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Mood:  sad

Hello,

When Nan started her radiation on the newest tumor on her spine, she was in so much pain when getting ready to leave, that she had Jim take her to the hospital.  she was in there for a few days while they tried some pain management.

After her pain was 'controlled', and an infection treated, she was transferred to the nursing home/rehab place where she was when she had her hip replacement. She is currently there.

Other things are going on and I will keep you updated as much as I can.  Nan is not doing well and we can only hope and pray for the best right now.

Thanks, again, for your thoughts and prayers.

Posted by nansarb at 7:42 AM

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Mood:  sad

Hi All-

This is Nan's sister, again.  After the last post, Nan had her lung redrained for a second time and an attempt to have her lung reinflated was made. Unfortunately, the attempt failed and she has to live with that for now. She is in severe pain as the fluid which cushioned the tumors is no longer there to absorb the pain.  As a result, she is on oxygen and high doses of pain meds and sleeps most of the day.

Nan has started chemo again. In the mean time, her knees had felt wobbly and as a result, she was walking with her walker when her knees gave way and she fell.  The good news is that her hip (the one which was just replaced) was fine.  The bad news is that she fractured her elbow.  It is her left one and of course, she is a lefty. So, more tests are being done to determine what all is going on.  One test result has already come in and it found another tumor, higher up on her spine, which is big enough to be pressing on her nerves.  This could be the cause of her knees giving out. She started radiation on that tumor.

Due to all of this, I am not sure when Nan will be able to get on her computer.

Unfortunately, we cannot be out there every day as much as we would like to be due to the distance. So, we rely on the West Coast gang to do what we would certainly do if she was here with us-- offer as much physical and emotional support as we could, appreciate her, be with her as much as possible, help her without being asked, etc.

FYI-For those that have Nan's address, her birthday is in 2 weeks!

More updates soon……

Posted by nansarb at 2:40 PM

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Hi All 

Well I am just about finished with radiation. Monday is supposed to be my last treatment. One session of living more peasefully with cancer seemed closer. Then I start chemo with a new "cocktail". Not n to choose when I don't have other patients to follow and I am here to make the road smoother for the next patient with ACC of the breast.

My right side has been achey, oh no, not again. Last time this happened is when I was diagnosed with cancer around the lung.  This is really hurting, but I blame it on the idea that when I had the fluid drained from my lung last week, maybe it is left over pain from that procedure.  I explained this to my radiation oncologist, my regular oncologist and of course all that would listen aroud here.  My breathing is diminishing, so I am now on oxygen when I lie down or feel the need.  So the doctors notified think I should have my ribs  now radiated.  I really would want a  bit more proof of the need for this procedure on the ribs, so I had a CT scan, which was needed before I start chemo again anyway... There it is, my one lung??
I am supposed to have 2? Aren't we all??  One is pancake flat.  Off I go today to see my wonderful pulmonologist... Dr. G.  Well off to the hospital I go tomorrow to see a new thoracic surgeion/oncologist in the area for a chest tube placement in hopes that my lung will re-inflate and I can restart  chemo in a week or so and go on my jolly way.  I will be in the hospital probably a couple of days (anything to get away from laundry right, ha ha?!)  Well so much for the joking. Yes I am scared. Another surgery and hospital stay so soon? ENOUGH ALREADY... Whew, got that out (I was yelling) and I will continue my fight. But I cannot do this without you!  Keep your prayers coming please, keep your emails coming even if I don't answer them right away I read and reread them. Elaine, I love the teddy bear you sent soft and cuddly.

 Wish me luck tomorrow, I check into the hospital at noon.  I hope the procedure works well the first time tried.  I hope I am a bit tender but breathing better. I hope I can continue my treatments without interruption, I hope I continue to live, laugh and spend time with my family and friends

 Thank you for reading. I feel like you are listening to me whine. Wish my family, especially my boys for strength in handling all this once again. I hope they become strong caring men. Men who respect the women in their lives, men who help their mother through all this  and understand the need to be caring, calm,   understanding.

~~NAN 

Posted by nansarb at 7:42 PM

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Mood:  surprised

Hello everyone! Yes it is really me, Nan.

Jim got our laptop fixed and I am able to sit at home to write to you all.

I was away for 4+ weeks, so glad to be home again. Mom and Dad along with Natalie were with me at the nursing home/rehab. The trip was planned, the timing was not. I am healing well from the hip replacement. Limping and mild pain but not much else. I am having radiation on my hips right now, both right and left as the last MRI showed a "shadow" on the left hip so the docs decided while radiating one lets do both. My hip pain and fracture were totally due to bone cancer now. Just another hurdle. After this I am thinking I will go back to chemo. Last time I asked Dr. J. what chemo I will be on she looked me in the eye and said, "I have no idea". Another trial and error type of thing. Why am I the one with the rare cancer? Hopefully we will find a way or make one (a quote from my old girlscout days or high school or somewhere).

It snowed all day today, have not seen this much snow in many many years. Matt and zoe (our lab) played for quite a while, Jim shoveled and I stayed inside and knit, napped (fatigue is #1 side affect of radiation, my excuse). I doubt it that there will be school or at least a partial day tomorrow.

 Jim returns to work tomorrow after being with me to help me around the house for the past 2 weeks. I am still working on my walking, dressing myself with ease and picking up dropped items. Thank goodness for my "picker upper" that came in my "hip pack" from the hospital to make life easier.

I have radiation tomorrow and every day this week and next at 1000. It is really easy and only takes a few minutes. But after that I am supposed t have a thorocentesis on my lung. That is when they jab me with a large needle and try to drain the fluid without hurting the lung. I am not sure if I will have the procedure, as I am feeling much better and hope this means my body has reabsorbed some of the excess fluid around the lung. One can only hope. 

well not sure where spell check is on this thing, so forgive my errors.

Thank you to those that contacted family on West and East coasts. I appreciate your concern and prayers. I am sorry I made you worry. I try to blog once a week or so. Now Natalie also understands the blogging so if I am unable she can contact you all.

Nan 

Posted by nansarb at 9:19 PM

Updated: Tuesday, 28 November 2006 4:20 PM

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